begger

The other night, i was going over a study of the life of Christ, and I was shown a few passages in a different light, some of what was said was things I had been saying/thinking for years, and some of it was brand new. Anyway I think it was pretty awesome, so I'm going to steal it and share it, mixed up with my own thoughts as well.

This is from the first part of John 5, or the story of the paralytic at the pool.

We start of with the fact that this man has been paralyzed for 38 years which regardless of how old you are is a significant chunk of your life obviously. Next we learned a psychologist's phrase which leads to the part that was new and novel for me (learned helplessness)- not true helplessness, but feeling like you have no personal control over what happens in your own life, learned by repetition. The examples we were given were of animal being barred from food until they realized they could not reach it, the the bar being removed and sense they learned it was "hopeless" they still made no attempt to get it. And it was pointed out that parents can do it by scolding a child trying to do good, but not managing to, after a while the child "learns" they are incapable of doing good. I'm thinking this also carrys over to employer worker relationships as well, but anyway now we know the term.

Jesus asks the man: "Do you want to get well?"

and this is what I never really paid much attention to before the man's response: "I have no one to help me into the pool" not "yes", not "duh" not "of course" or any other answer in the affirmative, instead we see an answer that sounds very much like: "it's not my fault" the blame shifts onto all those people that for 38 years wouldn't help the man.

Then Jesus heals him and tells him: "pick up your mat and walk"

so he does then he is confronted by the Jews who want to know carrying a mat and doing "work" sense it is a Saturday. And we see the response: "The man who made me well said to me 'pick up your mat and walk' " Again in the context of his prior statement to Jesus, this looks an awful lot like "It's not my fault" So they ask who this man was, he says he doesn't know and he goes on his way then Jesus finds him.

"See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you."

(well again) this guy wasn't always a paralytic. (Stop sinning) apparently this man was doing something wrong , and if he doesn't stop he will deal with worse than being paralyzed. So the man runs off and rats Jesus out, this isn't like some of the other people Jesus has healed that are just so excited they had to share what Jesus did, but it looks a lot more like looking out for number one.

The next part is mostly stuff I had been saying/thinking for years, but there were a few new things. After the Jews discovered that it was Jesus doing the healing, and thus working on the Sabbath, they confront Him about breaking the Law. "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working." Then it was discussed how does Jesus see His Father working, and it was said well wounds scab and bones mend on the Sabbath, so healing is done. But I imagined a bit more of a "comical" situation where people are praying and worshiping, and God saying sorry its the Sabbath I can't listen to or answer any prayers today.

It wasn't that Jesus was breaking the Sabbath, but breaking their interpretation of the Sabbath. And the bit that was sorta new to me, if you recall Jesus ever using the phrase "You have heard it said" Rabis would ponder over what they thought laws or scripture meant. So every time Jesus would say this He was pointing out a different teaching by a different Rabi. He then clarified what was really meant in the spirit of the Law. Witch is a trap we can find ourselves, and do find ourselves falling into. People not following our interpretations of the law. Its easy for us to point a finger and say yeah obviously they were wrong, but we do the same thing. I recall the last Christian book I read honestly when using references more often quoted other people's interpretations of scripture, then it quoted just the Bible itself. Heck even now I am doing an awful lot of quoting myself. And if we arnt careful we can start building a lot of things into law that were never Law.

poem

After the snow this year, i saw many trees bent to the ground under the weight of snow, and for some reason i thought "these trees look quite humbled by a little snow" then even more oddly i envisioned a war between the snow and trees. so i wrote a poem about it....

Prepare for war called the wind.
From whom the trees called in kind.
Your enemy replied the wind will be the snow.
Bah! said the trees we've known greater foes.
So the trees laughed and shook there heads.
So the snow came whilst they slept in bed.

The eldest were the first to go
And suddenly they began to know,
As they looked down at their severed limbs
This was a war the trees could not win
Snow that so gently lands on children's face,
Slowly keep up its steady pace.

And one by one it began to land
Until those haughty trees began to bend
Until their proud brows
Were firmly resting on the ground
Spare us was their humble plea
then these once proud trees,
Began to cry
For all their brethren whom had died
-The Insignificant Other

Where the bomb drops

Where the bomb drops, ok so what does that mean? Well in one of my favorite books "Screwtape Letters" there is a demon who is trying to steer a man away from God. In the end the demon fails when a bomb falls on the man's city killing him. The man having remained faithful to God the entire time. However thats not what my title originally stood for, oh if only I could be that cleaver.

The main point of the title then? Well I say some pretty out there things, or things that might not line up well with the standard way of looking at things, or are quite possibly challenging. Basically I drop the bomb. And why would I challenge the standard way of looking at things? Well to keep things from being stale, to ask if what I'm being taught/ what I believe has a point behind it or is it just a thought/belief built on tradition, and mistranslations. Heb 5 tells us "solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil" I think this tells us that by constantly testing things, and constantly examining things we learn what is evil and good, and whats right and wrong, not from hiding ourselves from the world but to be active in it. In Rev 2 the church at Ephesus is commended for "you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not" I think this calls u to question what people tell us or even preach to us, line up our thinking with scripture unlock new things. In a sense drop the bomb on everything see what breaks and see what still stands firm against closer, more challenging scrutiny

"It's only once a year"

I want to put a pretty hefty disclaimer at the beginning of this post. This post is very moody, and well most in likely depressing. It is not feel good, or even here look at this thing in a new light. It i me being incredibly frustrated and expressing it. I figure with the fact I don't have many followers, and this blog being more or less a personal journal this feels like a good place to get it all out. You have been warned, I don't want to drag people down with me, but at the same time I just feel like I need to vent. Next post I'll try to explain what "Where the bomb drops" means that should be interesting. See you then.

I HATE this day. It annoys me to no end. I really wish it didn't, but it does. It is a day for couples to express their love for each other, and honestly that is a pretty awesome and amazing thing, however for me it just emphasizes the fact that I'm alone. And I don't want to be. Growing up what I have wanted to do with my life has changed with all the new things I discovered from the world, I went through the stages of wanting to be a police officer, and firefighter etc.. the typical ideas of grandeur that most young boys go through. But one life goal, that never changed and I had from a abnormally young age in my opinion was my desire to be a father and a husband, and I am nether of these.

I have always had a passion for kids, and most people will tell you I have a real gift for them, and to some extent this is really sad, because I will finish a night of working with kids, and playing with them, and when they go, I'm left with a little bit of an emptiness. The kids have gone, and I have none of my own. The same goes with the lack of wife, I study my Bible alot and I have run over multiple times talks of "the wife of your youth" Most people tell me I am still young and I have plenty of time, hoping this will be a comfort to me. I appreciate the thought, but in Jewish society a boy was considered a man at 13, so I think youth is quite a bit younger then we are used to thinking, not that i'm saying they all got married at 13, but even in our country we can see that it wasn't that long ago that the normal age for getting married was 18.

This age has continuely been getting pushed further and further back people are saying 30-40 are ideal ages.

I think this has alot to do with people taking more and more privileges reserved for marriage and applying them to everyday relationships, lessing the need and desire to become married at a young age. and I think the church has excepted the fact that marriage should be pushed further and further back. I have a problem with this though I have not been privy to these privileges, you know why because I'm not married, so this lack of a partner to share my life with, to lean on, to be there so she can lean on me, to share my dreams etc........ So I'm in a deep craving for this type of companionship that can only be filled with a wife.

Its not like this is an ungodly desire, its encouraged actually, I want to leave my parents and cling to my wife, but there is no new relationship here for the old one to end. and its sad and it hurts and this day reminds me of it, I pray that next year it wont, and it will actually be the day of joy and gladness and celebration that it deserves to be.

application

So I was bored the other night so I did some mild  online stalkering, and ran across  an "application to date my daughter" Now I have seen quite a few  of these in the past, the main purpose of them  seem to be, "mildly humorous" and to say no one is good enough for my daughter. They also try to key in on as many faults as possible, without trying  to  find any good out of would be men. Heck I would wager that most dads didn't live  up to these standards  when they were around that age, some of them might  not be able to now. Anyway I did a quick search nabbed  the first one I found and decided to see if I could  fill it out as honestly as possible. answers/additions to the form will be in Red

NAME______Robert Jacob Hoagland____________   DATE OF BIRTH__11/29/1984____   HEIGHT__6'1"___  WEIGHT__150___   IQ__Honestly have no idea__  GPA__3.0 college   SOCIAL SECURITY #__I'm not stupid___  DRIVERS LICENSE #___I'm not stupid____

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES:Life scout, Order of the arrow, Staff, Junior assistant scoutmaster  HOME ADDRESS___Not on net_____  CITY/STATE___________  ZIP______  Do you have parents?               _X_Yes  ___No Is one male and the other female?  _X_Yes  ___No If No, explain:        ______________________________________________________________  Number of years they have been married ____________26______________  If less than your age, explain        ______________________________________________________________         ______________________________________________________________   ACCESSORIES SECTION:  A. Do you own or have access to a van?              _X_Yes  __No  B. A truck with oversized tires?                    __Yes  _X_No  C. A waterbed?                                      __Yes  _X_No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back?            __Yes  _X_No

E. A tattoo?                                        _X_Yes  __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,               __Yes  _X_No Not anymore

   pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?   (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.  I SUGGEST RUNNING.) As I said before lets find as many "faults" as possible. Yes I have access to a van, I have access to many things because people trust me and love me, no I would not have sex with your daughter in the back of a borrowed van. Yes I have ink this is a life  long commitment between me and God.   ESSAY SECTION:   In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?         __Late home- better have a very good reason and call you in advance____         __Late her period- You are going to shoot me like the dog I am______  In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?         __No inappropriate touching, I'm assuming holding hands for prayer___         __hugs, and pats on the shoulder would probably fall under the safe category  In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?         __It means no sex before marriage ie: anything with the word sex in it__         __also masturbation, petting, or group nudity. It is also what made my first__  
       ___girlfriend dump me(I made mistakes and I learned)________________________

 REFERENCES SECTION:  Church you attend _____Warrenton Church Of Christ_____________  How often you attend ___Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night______

I also go to many different Bible studies. A home group every other Friday, Young adult group every Friday, two different mens prayer breakfasts once a month, as well as a daily  personal Bible study  When would be the best time to interview your:         father? __tue/ths/fri afternoon, sat___         mother? __tue/ths/fri afternoon, sat___
   pastor? __Anytime you want to hear good things about me__   SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:   Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.  A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:         ____kneecap possibly the groin_____  B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:         _Fingers would probably hurt, but I'm thinking of broken jaw by way of curby_  C: A woman's place is in the:         ____Heart, home if your going for a physical place_____________  D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:         _______Do I have inappropriate thoughts about your daughter?_____________  E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________         ______Husband and father, honestly its been the one thing______         ______that hasn't changed in my life goals as the years passed_____  F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:         ___Probably one item hair, honestly I notice if she is attractive or not______        ___this is quickly followed by me seeing if she has a personality to match______
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __I would guess 100ish, I could probably find as cheap as 80_____  I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.   _____I do not think I can use blogger for cursive _______ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

See what I said about looking for faults :) ie: I know what a signature is, I also  know that moron originated as a medical term....   _______________________________      ________________________________ Mother's Signature                   Father's Signature  _Bob Kolodner (didn't say sign)__      __His name is Warner I didn't vote for him__ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi                  State Representative/Congressman 

And there we go filled out about as honestly as I could do, and with a few snarky comments to boot.

A Walk to Forget

To anyone who actually reads my blog, yes this posting is about the movie "A Walk to Remember" And actually I like the movie well enough, I just figured that titling this a walk to forget would get peoples attention, that and the movie does have a pretty major flaw. At least it does if you look at the movie from a Christian stand point, which well I do. And I like finding my food for thought in some odd places.

Now this flaw might not be that noticeable at first glance. After all this is a story about a guy who falls in love with a girl, turns from his heathen bad boy ways, and even converts for her. Firstly I have no idea what is up with girls wanting "bad boys" as a nice guy its incredibly frustrating to see girls say they want a nice guy then go to the bad boy type guys anyway, but i degrees. So really what problem do I have with a guy falling for a girl, straitening his act up, and coming to God. Well the order of the events happening. Dude falls for a girl then comes to Christ.

One comes to God for themselves and not to improve a relationship with others, if you are looking for an honest relationship. Yes a relationship with God will effect your other relationships, but this has to be the core not some little side piece of the puzzle tacked on later. Ok so the movie ends on a bittersweet note, because she dies and sticking with someone even through all that and till death parts you is yes incredibly romantic. But the movie ends sweet, because she dies, and well because the movie is fiction.

This is how the movie would look if she had lived. lets pick up where they are happily married: They are both so incredibly happy and blinded by their love for each other. They both go to church and they look so cute together, eventually they decide to have kids. So now they go to church with a few little ones running around at their heals, their kids are all in Sunday school. Suddenly He starts to question his faith, why did he convert anyway? wasn't his life just fine before? He did this out of love, for her, but now well hes put in his time. Regardless of what it was that triggered it, now he is incontinent with his faith, church, and well God in general. He stops coming to church. Everyone asks where her husband is, and at first she makes excuses, oh work was ruff this week, he just couldn't make it, he had important plans etc. Finally we have a marriage thats on the ropes, and the kids want to know why daddy doesn't come to church anymore. This could kill the marriage, the kids might start wondering why they have to come if daddy won't etc..

Yes everything I just said sounds incredibly harsh, I will not deny that. But honestly if you have trouble swallowing what I just said go to church, any church with a few dozen people or more, and you will see that couple. Usually its they guy that changes for the girl, but sometimes it happens the other way around (girls seem to e more honest about their change) Personally Ive ran into way to many families like that.

Comments are as always welcome, and I'm prepared to further defend my stance if needed.

New years resolution

Wow its been a while sense I actually updated anything. So while its still January, I figured I would talk about New Year resolutions. Namely I don't like them. This might seem like a weird thing to have a distaste for, I'm well aware of that. But honestly how many people do you know that have actually keep their New Years resolution? Matter of fact I bet it would be quite easy for you to list a slew of people that make the same vow every year because they never follow through. In sort as a general rule New Years resolutions are just hasty oaths taken before God and man. promises to change that never come to fruition.

Now do I think that deciding to change your life is bad? That would be decidedly no, change is a amazing thing, if its for the right reasons, and if your actually going to follow through. Otherwise honestly whats the point? Now I will be the first to admit that I don't always succeed at what I put my mind to, but the idea is to try try again. With New Years the mentality seems to be well that didn't work, oh well theres always next New Years. There are of course some exceptions to this rule and I am in no way trying to mock the people that are the exceptions, more power to you. But honestly why do we need a special day to decide to be different? My personal aim is to constantly modify my life as I find it is necessary or beneficial for me to do so. The end goal to be an ever evolving daily changing better man, not just better for a day.